Hart Ford
Hart Ford
HomeColumns, Opinions & Misc.Michigan winter shopping spree!

Michigan winter shopping spree!

Today is starting out great! I enjoyed my breakfast of smoked salmon and a bagel and braved the intensity of another Michigan winter storm. As I took the garbage out to the garbage cans in the garage, I convinced my three dogs to go outside to do their business. Of course, they made me watch. What’s up with that anyway? I gave them their treat. Yes, they get a treat for doing a normal body function when it’s a freezing blizzard outside.

Today as the saying goes, “Is not fit for “Man Nor Beast!” Now it’s my time! I am so glad all I have to do today is relax! This retired gig has its benefits. I pulled two throw blankets around me to quiet the deafening screaming of the wind whistling through the crack in the door wall. I settled into my “Comfy Chair!” Before I completed my settling activity, body shifting, leg adjusting, etc., I heard my wife yell out from the kitchen, “ Joel, remember you have to go to the store and buy some salad and dessert for company tonight!” “Company tonight?” I yelled, “Who will come over in this weather? Nobody!”

I settled back in to “Jumpstart” my nap, feeling very good about closing this situation. She responded, “ Joel, It’s the neighbors; they will just walk over.” “Alright, I’ll go shopping!” As I selected my wardrobe for this excursion, I chose my heavy winter boots, my heavy winter coat, winter hat, neck gator, and gloves. I installed a pair of toe warmers and hand warmers to keep me comfortable.

I let my all-wheel drive with snow tires idle till it was warmed up. I drove down the road, careful to stay in the ruts made by some other fool, uh, motorist. I never exceeded 25 miles an hour. I use a driving technique in this kind of weather: I keep my wheels straight until I slow down almost to a stop, and then I make a turn. That keeps me from going off the road. I pulled into the snowy parking lot of the grocery store and pretended to know where the lines were for parking. I struggled to open the door against the intense force of the north winds.

As I began my Arctic trek through the parking lot, I watched an empty shopping cart pushed by the wind travel across the lot and smash into a car that was peacefully parked. It was real Michigan Winter nasty out. I traversed the lot, entered the store, bought what I needed, then tried to follow my footprints to my vehicle. The footprints were mostly covered up by the blowing snow. I opened my eyes, which were stinging and weeping from the windchill. Then I jumped in my car, secured the door, and drove slowly crawling home, this time at 10-15 mph due to the blizzard’s white-out conditions. I made it home with the groceries. Michigan winter shopping is not for the faint of heart! Time for my well-earned nap!

“Remember, every day is a gift! Some are just a little more fun to open than others. – Joel
Author of: “The Guinea Pig In The Freezer”. joelmvernier@aol.com

Leave a Comment


UpNorthVoice.com is Northern Michigan's source for community news.

We cover seven counties including Crawford, Roscommon, Oscoda, Ogemaw, Iosco, Arenac and Montmorency counties in print and / or online.

We are also a full-service commercial design and printing house. Our specialty is custom commercial printing, as well as the creation of clothing, cups and other marketing products.

To submit information for publication, or for questions regarding promotion of your business through web or print, as well as promotional items such as hats or cups, please email info@UpNorthVoice.com, or call 989-275-1170.

- Advertisement -
COOR ISD Free College Credits
- Advertisement -
Fick and Sons
- Advertisement -
Firehouse Restaurant