Isn’t it funny how times change?
Past Christmases may or may not have ever been the Norman Rockwell painting of grandpa standing at the head of the dinner table; Head down in prayer, carving knife in hand, surrounded by family, as one of the kids sneaks a piece of ham, or a present from under the tree.
Christmas today is something different and unique to each of us. Many of us have circumstances in our lives where we may, or may not, be where we want to be for the holidays. And it doesn’t seem like families are what they used to be.
Economics and relationships take many of us far away from each other. In my own family we range from Northern Michigan to south Florida, west to California and all points in between. Instead of walking around the block to get the proverbial cup of sugar and catch up on family happenings, we now communicate via Facebook, Twitter, Skype, Instagram, Fishbowl, Pinterest and any other number of online mechanisms. But it’s better than nothing if you consider that 100 years ago, when someone moved 100 miles away, you probably never saw them again.
Regardless, you would remember, with the photos and memories we all share of Christmas’ past.
At Grandmas house
When I was a kid, I can remember my parents packing us up and going to my grandmother’s homes. We lived in Detroit at the time.
One lived on Rossini west of Kelly, and the other at the corner of Chalmers and Houston-Whittier. One held dinner early and the other late.
Although the family members were different, both events were the same: Loud and busy.
At my “Grandma Mike’s” (both of my uncles were young, so we identified our grandparents by their names), dinner was held in the basement on a large oval table made of finished, ¾ inch plywood with a red or green tablecloth. At “Grandma Wayne’s”, a slate pool table was covered with a sheet.
Each held a cornucopia of food that included homemade relishes, ham, turkey, potatoes, stuffing, pies, and multitudes of cookies; all individual specialties that comprised the best that everyone had to offer. In my mind’s eye, I can still see and feel the love in the room.
The kid’s table
As children we were seated at the “kids table” which was usually a large old couch or a couple of card tables off to the side. When you were young it was an okay place to sit because you were surrounded by cousins your own age.
But eventually you started to look forward to the day when you got to move to the “adult table.” But no one ever really defined when that would be. It was something along the line of “wait till next year.”
And when you did reach that point, you couldn’t have a drink “until you’re 18,” which was the legal drinking age back then. Families just have their own kind of rules I suppose.
Life goes on
However, the river of time slows for no one. New family members join as they are born, while others arrive through marriages and friendships. And losses occur through the passing of the older generation.
As my dad used to say, “One goes out and another one comes in.”
Just this year, my mom, Patti, passed away, devastating our family. Her loss is partially offset with “…another one coming in.” My daughter, Autumn, recently delivered the newest addition to our lives, Leo Patrick. My niece Jenna welcomed a daughter, Addilynn. And the family is looking forward to other, upcoming additions – Jenna and her husband John are expecting another daughter; another niece, Harmony, is expecting a daughter in weeks; and my nephew Zachary and his girlfriend, Courtney, are also expecting.
Changes in the way we celebrate
And the way we celebrate holidays change due to the circumstances we live in as well.
I recall one year being far from home and broke on Thanksgiving. We made homemade chicken soup for dinner out of a big chicken breast, a couple of bouillon cubes and some canned veggies. The neighbor across the street gave us a home-made pumpkin pie. A friend brought over a can of cranberry sauce and some rolls. We scraped enough money together to have a toast with a $2 bottle of Boone’s Farm. It was a dinner to remember.
When I was stationed in Bamberg, Germany, Christmas dinner there was held at my squad leader’s house: Sgt. Mike Blowers. His wife made us an incredible meal and we paid him to let us use their telephone to call home … A rarity in those days. And crazy expensive.
This Thanksgiving, Autumn and Rix hosted their first official holiday, as the dinner torch is passed. Christmas will be split between my niece, Courtney’s home, and across the south and Midwest.
They will be Christmas celebrations like no other; unique with their own video and cell phone pics. But different kinds of memories.
And even though none of these are what Christmas had been for me as a child, they are all still a celebration of what’s important in our lives: Family, friends and the opportunity to be part of something bigger than ourselves; A time to give thanks for what we have, not to worry about what we don’t.
Come Christmas, if you’re not in the same room as the people you care about, don’t forget to text, call, snap a cell pic or send a Messenger note. Let them know they are loved and missed. And regardless of where you may be physically, you’re celebrating the memories and traditions of Christmas memories past, as well as building new memories for the future.
Merry Christmas from my family to yours.
– Mark
