A German Shepherd, Doberman And Cat Have Died And Gone To Heaven
A German Shepherd, Doberman and a cat have died.
All three are faced with God who wants to know what they believe in.
The German shepherd says: “I believe in discipline training and loyalty to my master.”
“Good,” says God. “Then sit down on my right side. Doberman, what do you believe in?”
The Doberman answers: “I believe in the love, care and protection of my master.”
Ah,” said God. “You may sit to my left.”
Then he looks at the cat and asks, “And what do you believe in?”
The cat answers: “I believe you’re sitting in my seat.”
You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees?
Because they’re really good at it.
What is red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
The don’t meet the koalafications.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
What bow can’t be tied? A rainbow!
People think “icy” is the easiest word to spell. Come to think of it, I see why.
My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!”
What’s the easiest way to get straight A’s? Use a ruler.
A grasshopper sits down at a bar. The bartender says, “We have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper replies, “Who names a drink ‘Steve?'”
What’s a balloon’s least favorite type of music? Pop.
What does the world’s top dentist get? A little plaque.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other’s a little lighter.
How does a farmer mend his overalls? With cabbage patches.
I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.
Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
How does NASA organize a party? They planet.
