“If you punish a child for what was actually a stress-induced behavior, all you’ll do is add to the child’s stress load and your own.” – Dr. Stuart Shanker
While traveling in the parents’ SUV, the child sat stoically searching the cell phone. The hypnotic humming of the vehicle’s engine reverberated throughout its interior. Eventually mesmerized, the child quietly sat, looking outside the window, and observing the landscape as it instantly slid from view (much like watching a movie at fast-forward speed). During these lapses, the child reflected on his/her unhappiness, wishing that the activities (comparable to a roller-coaster ride) would slow down.
The child, finding it difficult to communicate, chose to remain silent while resentment and anger grew. Eventually, these apprehensions transformed into negative actions. In turn, the parents responded with discipline, thus compounding the problem.
The above scenario depicts some of the causes of negative interaction by overwhelming a child’s/children’s lives with too many activities. As parents, we strive to provide a balance between a child’s social interaction and screen time. However, we must be aware of the effect of inundating a child with too many activities, as this, in turn, may cause stress and other negative repercussions associated with it.
So how might parents find a happy equilibrium? If you are in a quandary, here are a few suggestions:
- Investigate – Inquire specifically into which extracurricular activities your child would like to participate. When doing this research together, explore the time commitment, the effect on the family’s daily schedule, and other possible commitments that may be involved in each of the activities.
- Consider – While making choices about which activities warrant participation, always be cognizant of not overextending the child. Together, choose which one or two activities would be the most preferential for the child/children without wearying them.
- Appraise – Throughout this process, keep the focus on academics and the possible impacts on your child’s/children’s scholastic performance.
- Prioritize – What is paramount is ensuring quality family time in which to bond. This could be centered on shared moments and stress-free togetherness.
We love our children and desire the very best for them. On the other hand, our good intentions may act as a detriment, especially if our children are overwhelmed. They may demonstrate this through challenging the boundaries, sleep issues, crying through activities, and other signs of stress. I pray that these suggestions will provide help and hope.
“Anxiety doesn’t always look like a nervous child. Sometimes it looks like a quiet, angry, or difficult child.” – Author unknown
