Rippling throughout our country are cries, frustration, and tears from millions, where there is loss, fear, emptiness, and forsakenness. However, there is a light of hope illuminating through the darkness. This article will focus on stories of hope that have made a meaningful difference in lives.
Let us begin with Cathy, whose life was upended when she began observing her son’s abuse of alcohol (after he began his junior year in college). The downward spiral included failing, dropping out of college, two “Driving Under the Influence” tickets, unhealthy relationships, wanting to take his life, and hospitalization.
Throughout her son’s struggle, Cathy wanted desperately to help him. Her futile attempts to “help” (talking, crying, begging, yelling, checking dresser drawers/backpacks) only resulted in a fracture in their relationship. This created animosity, distrust, and a lack of respect, but not recovery.
Not only did it devastate her emotionally, but physically and mentally as well. She was so consumed by worry that she could not sleep, eat, or concentrate at work.
Finally, Cathy had arrived at a point where she could no longer carry this unbearable load and decided to see a counselor. Through these sessions, he suggested that she attend Al-Anon meetings, a group whose members have family or friends that are dealing with addictions.
Cathy took his advice and began attending Al-Anon meetings. Over time, she began to change and accepted that she could not control her alcoholic son, and that she could only control herself. This relearning continually evolved, as she implemented the 3 C’s (Did Not Cause, Can’t Control, and Can’t Cure It). These were instrumental in her transformation. Coupled with this was learning acceptance that even though one may not like what is transpiring, it truly is what it is. Every person has a right to live and let live and make their own choices.
Today, years later, Cathy’s relationship with her son has improved because she has backed off, understanding that it is his life and his choice. Beyond her son, the Al-Anon 12-step program has also helped in every aspect of her life and has made her a better person for herself and for others.
In summary, Cathy stated, “If your life is unmanageable, try Al-Anon for six weeks. If you don’t like it, we’ll gladly give you back your misery.”
The next individual we will anonymously call Amber, who is a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. Amber’s addictions began at age 15, when she began to consume alcohol and dabble in marijuana. This continued until she was 18 years old. At that time, she was prescribed suboxone to treat her dependence on narcotic drugs; she began to use it daily and became addicted to that drug. This continued until she was 31 years old. During that time, that drug was the fuel that she thought would motivate her.
However, what transpired was just the opposite: she didn’t care if she woke up, and drug addiction took precedence over family and friends. They ended up being the casualties that got in the way of drugs and alcohol. For example, her mother lost many nights of sleep because of worry for Amber from the age of 18-31.
Throughout this time, Amber entered rehab three times with continued relapses. Thoughts plagued her to the effect that if she persisted on going down this road, she would never see age 30. The breaking point came for her when she was arrested and had to inform her young niece (with whom she was extremely close) that she couldn’t attend take her trick-or-treating, because she was in jail.
From there, she went to drug court and was mandated to attend Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and other addiction programs. The transformation began when attending the initial meeting, she was embraced and surrounded by understanding, positive people who supported her and became her friends. This is because they had also experienced what she was experiencing.
Today, at 35 years of age, Amber now has hope and is a changed person who is trying to help others. She found through the AA program a quote: “I am not doing recovery; I am in recovery. I can’t change the past, but live for today, and am grateful for tomorrow. If you’re struggling and miserable with addiction, why not try the program? It’s the first step in recovery.”
“Getting clean gives you the opportunity to be the best version of you that you can be.” – Amber
For those of you that are suffering, or are affected by, alcohol or other addictions, please seek help from your local AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) or Al-Anon (friends and family of those suffering from addiction) chapters.
