Halloween has come and gone. The scary decorations have been taken down and out away until next year’s scary, spooky, kooky, fun time returns. The only hints of Halloween 2014 left are sitting in the hallway, filling the bowl halfway to the top. I have made a valiant effort to consume the calorie-ridden, tooth-decaying, waist-expanding, glucose-rising, individually wrapped concoctions that are left. Now that the food coma is about to take over my consciousness, it is time to pay a visit to my “Comfy Chair!”
I truly believe that I fell asleep as I was just sitting down for my afternoon nap. I do not remember pulling my colorful turkey and pie-pic-laden comfy throw. Yes, I was swiftly shifting through the many stages of REM to reach nirvana, or deep, deep, sleep. The kind of snooze that loud sounds will not penetrate. A dreamland encounter of the 3rd kind! I was having an “Out of body” dream. I was hovering about, and I saw images of consuming the holidays through my mouth! I finished the Halloween candy bowl.
Next, it was Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings, pies, cookies, and a boatload of gravy. In fact, I was amazed that, in the blink of an eye, the table was bare. The turkey bones on the platter were all that was left. No leftovers this year, I thought to myself, sadly. Next, it was Christmas dinner. The table was so packed with food that we all had to use snack tables to find enough room for our dinner, sides, and dessert plates, along with silverware and milk glass. It happened again in the blink of an eye. The table was barren except for the leg bone from the lamb roast.
And then I watched myself lumbar over to my “Comfy Chair.” As I went to sit down in blissful chairness, I realized that I could no longer fit in my chair. I was stuck on top of the armrests like a car that tried to make it over a snowbank and ended up with all 4 wheels spinning in the air. It was a nightmare of the worst kind.
It was so frightening that I woke up, and when I realized it was just a dream, I felt my heartbeat slow down. I immediately jumped up like a pop tart out of the toaster. I ran over to the candy bowl and dumped it into a bag to take to bowling. No more holiday binge eating for me. “No weight gain this holiday season!” Are you going to take the pledge with me?
“Remember, every day is a gift! Some are just a little more fun to open than others. – Joel
joelmvernier@aol.com,© Joel M. Vernier November 3,2023
