Once in a while, it was time to go out and get the mail on a bitterly cold day. We were enduring a “Polar Vortex” like event! I was hoping it didn’t have anything to do with time travel! The first cold spell in November feels like 20 below zero, even if the temperature is only in the teens. What the heck, so I decided to confront the cold head-on! I get up and throw on all my winter layers. Vest, snow pants, neck warmer, hat, gloves, goggles, boot over socks. I call the dogs, get into the garage, close the door to the house, and push the garage door opener.
Being in the garage was cold enough, but venturing into the “Cold Cruel World!” caught my attention. The dogs ran out into the frigid air as if it was 75 degrees. I took a few steps onto the driveway and noticed a few things. First, it hit me like a brick wall; that’s because I slipped and hit my brick wall. Then, when I breathed in, it was so cold it pinched my lungs. My eyes started to water; any exposed skin began to tingle. Was it Jack Frost nipping at my nose! It was so cold that my dogs ran up to me with snow beards from sniffing in the snow. I became brave and walked onto the snow; it made a crunching noise as I walked. The kind of cold that you cannot make a snowman because the snow won’t pack; it just flakes around. I carefully wandered out of the mailbox, looking like a professional tightrope walker. I grabbed the mail, slipped & slid my way back into the garage, and closed the door. Mission accomplished, but I was cold!
I just could not seem to get warm. I try all my warm-up tricks. They didn’t work. I must get warm! My favorite way to warm up is to climb into my “Comfy Chair” and cocoon myself in a heavy throw. I wrap myself very tightly and, in a few minutes, I get warm. If that doesn’t work, I move to the couch, cocoon up again, call over my dogs, have one dog lay against me, and sit in my lap. It reminds me of the rock band “Three Dog Night!” I had done that in the past when I had 3 dogs.
Next, I consume vast quantities of hot beverages, tea, coffee, hot cocoa, soups, and anything that imparts warmth! The following technique is to throw on the long johns and top underneath my sweatsuit. Still cold, not shivering, just cold to the bone. There are a lot of terms to describe being cold; It’s chilly, brisk, bitter, biting, freezing, frosty, glacial, numbing, piercing, raw, subzero, and it goes on!
My last resort should always be my first! After cocooning, I flip on the fireplace with my remote, sip my coffee, eat a keto cookie, and the warmth breaks out all over! Stay warm, my friends! It will soon be a warming trend!
“Remember, every day is a gift! Some are just a little more fun to open than others. – © Joel M. Vernier 11/24/2023 Author of: “The Guinea Pig In The Freezer.” joelmvernier@aol.com
