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Home Columns, Opinions & Misc. Reality is real enough!

Reality is real enough!

By Joel Vernier

As I began to wake up from my early evening nap, the widescreen was on and blaring the highlights of one of the ‘Reality’ television shows that are very popular. Wikipedia states that Reality television is a genre of television programming that documents unscripted real-life situations with an unknown cast of individuals who are not professional actors.

That seems too close to real living to me. I have never been a fan, and I’m probably the only person left in America that has never watched a full ‘Reality’ show. I watched five minutes of one and it did not appeal to me. I’m good with other people loving these shows but it’ just not for me. My life has been too full of ‘Reality’ I guess.

‘Big Brother’: I grew up with two ‘Big Brothers’ and when I was little it was awful. My oldest brother I do not remember as well, he was always working part time jobs to pay for his car. My middle brother was like living with the Tasmanian Devil! He always seemed to break my favorite toys like my Popeye ring toss game.

He arm wrestled Popeye and of course broke off the arm that was supposed to catch the rings. He stole my favorite marbles, the pur+¬es, and enjoyed bullying me. He was an all-state wrestler on the High School wrestling team and would pin me every day for practice.

I remember one time he said he would break my arm if I did not give in, I told him to go ahead and break it because he would get in big trouble, he never did. So I would not enjoy a ‘Big Brother’ episode.

Then there is ‘Survivor’: I survived living in my house where if you didn’t eat a cookie when it came hot out of the oven, you would never see one again, my cannibalistic brothers would consume them so fast they never made it from the oven to the counter top. I lived in a house that had two cigarettes glowing and smoking at every moment. We lived without seatbelts, bicycle helmets, cell phones, electronic games (except for ‘Operation’) and no cell phones. I came home after the streetlights turned on and on Halloween trick or treated with my friends until midnight. I survived, and I do not feel like watching a TV show about it.

‘The Apprentice’: When I graduated from college, I had to go on many interviews as the economy was in the tank, then when I finally landed a job I had to go through 33 years of performance reviews quarterly, yearly and whenever you went to a meeting that the boss was there. ‘The Apprentice’ has no appeal to me.

‘The Bachelor’: Ok, I admit dating was fun while on dates, but the early days of being nervous about asking a girl out was not a good time. I never had the money, hot cars and cool clothes that some had, I cant even imagine dating in the modern world with all of the technology today, so I’ll pass on this show.

‘Dancing With The Stars’: I rally can’t dance very well. ‘Cops’ I have spent my entire life driving too slow so that I will not get pulled over by a Cop. I lived most of my adult life trying to keep up with the Joneses, no the ‘Kardashians.’ I do enjoy singing in church with the choir, but I am not ready to go on ‘American Idol.’ Ever since I saw the movie ‘Jaws’ I am not going into the ‘Shark Tank!’ I hate spiders so ‘Fear Factor’ is defiantly out. My daughter says I’m a ‘Hoarder’; I have had a fishing lure stuck to my finger so no ‘Deadliest Catch’ for me. I live with a ‘Real Housewive’, I enjoy the ‘Simple Life’, have eaten out of ‘Hell’ Kitchen’ and I just cant stand the ‘Honey Boo Boo’ commercials, let alone watch the show.

I guess I will just watch another rerun episode of ‘Gunsmoke’ and get back to napping; my life has been real enough!

‘Remember, every day is a gift! Some are just a little more fun to open than others. – Joel

Author of: ‘The Guinea Pig In The Freezer’. joelmvernier@aol.com

-¬ Joel M. Vernier February 20, 18

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