Home Country

by Slim Randles

       Doc hadn’t even finished loading his coffee with fake sugar before Steve piped up.

  “I think it’s disgusting and weird and unnatural and it should be outlawed!” the tall cowboy said, coming to rest at the philosophy counter of the Mule Barn truck stop.

  “Aw Steve,” said Doc, “the coffee isn’t that bad.”

  “Coffee? Nay, I say unto you, Doc. It ain’t the coffee … it’s them Academy Awards on the television. You see them? All them good-looking women Scotch-taping themselves into those dresses so they almost stay on? Those weird guys they’re with who only shave on Tuesdays?”

  “And this makes you angry?”

  “Sure does, Doc. Those folks make a lot more money than I do and all they have to do is dress up and talk to those red carpet cameras.”

  “Well, Steve,” said Dud, “we can do just as good as they can. Stand up.”

  Steve looked around and then stood slowly.  Dud picked up a bottle of Tabasco sauce and, using it as a microphone, turned to the breakfast crowd in the Mule Barn.

  “Good morning, folks, and we’re so happy you could join us here on KRUD this morning to welcome our list of celebrities. Oh, look, it’s Steve, the pride of farrier life and heavy anvils. Steve, wherever did you get that outfit?”

  “Well,” said Steve, grinning, “it’s a creation of Levi Strauss, and please note the genuine brass rivets.”

  “Give us a twirl there, cowboy.” And he did, to great applause.

  “And your headwear today, Steve, that would be what … Stetson?”

  “Yessir. A genuine John B. Stetson original. Five ex beaver fur felt.”

  “The sweat stains?”

  “Those were added later, actually, Dudley. A genuine cow pen fillip to offset the otherwise stunning look of my entire ensemble.”

  “So as not to overwhelm the onlookers, I suppose?”

  “Precisely. We don’t want ordinary people to think they’ll never achieve this look, you see.”

  “An admirable pursuit,” Dud said.

  “Noblesse oblige, I believe,” said Steve.

  “Not until lunch,” said Loretta, topping off the coffee mugs. “Breakfast special is bacon and a short stack.”

Brought to you by Dogsled: A True Tale of the North, my first book.

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By Joel Vernier

There are lots of things that I enjoy and really like about life! Often, simple things; I love getting up before first light and watching the sunrise illuminate my world. I enjoy sipping coffee while my dogs snuggle with me on the couch! It’s a great way to start my day!

I enjoy my dogs greeting me on all occasions, including when I first get up in the morning. They wake up, see me wag their tails, and stretch like they are getting ready to Tai Chee. They are ready to go outside into the dog run and take care of business. Then they come back in, and the act begins, suggesting that they have not been fed for a week. Many experts suggest I should feed them only once a day. Dogs enjoy sticking to a schedule, and I may not be able to adjust to it at this point in their lives. I may not be able to survive the “Canine-Hypno-Control,” the stares they give me, until I fulfill their wishes!

Living a purpose-driven life gives me a lot of happiness. 

I could just stay home and not be involved in the community, resign from my part-time position, and from the many Boards that I serve on; many people do that, it’s called retirement! One day, I may choose to do that, but right now, I’m having fun being involved and hopefully making a difference! 

I enjoy looking out over my lawn after a fresh mow and feeling like I’ve accomplished something tangible while getting in some much-needed exercise. I obviously enjoy taking a good nap, as often as I can. I feel reenergized, ready to take on the rest of the day, at least until the next nap time arrives. I do enjoy eating healthy food; it makes me feel good when I prepare it, when I consume it, and afterward. Lots of changes over the last 3 years in my choices, no sugar, limiting carbohydrates, and seed oils. I guess the “Food Pyramid” has been turned completely over! It has resulted in significant weight loss.

The list of things I enjoy is endless: a sunny day, soft rain while I’m napping, thunder off in the distance, fresh blueberries, and my dog sleeping on my lap. I enjoy striking up a conversation with people I do not know while shopping, walking my dog, or pretty much anywhere. I feel great when I put the last dish in the dishwasher and turn it on. I love a clean, uncluttered house ( It’s a goal, lol). I love swimming on a hot day or a late-day pontoon ride. I truly enjoy going to church and singing in the choir! Looking at various options to fix things. Working with a team of people who enjoy what they do! Having a piece of no-sugar pumpkin or blueberry pie on a holiday! Attending a charity dinner! Learning new things! Spending time with my elected officials, brainstorming legislation that will benefit many people, and they come on board to support this type of legislation.

I suggest you take some time over the next few days to write a list of things you enjoy. Make sure you have plenty of paper; the list might surprise you with how long it is. 

Remember, every day is a gift! Some are just a little more fun to open than others.

The post Things I enjoy! appeared first on Up North Voice.

By Warren “Toad” Stutesman

Hello my friends, welcome to the flowery month of May. April showers bring May flowers, and the birds that left us for warmer climates. I’ve been welcoming them back for the past month, and it’s been a joy. Many familiar visitors have returned, along with a few new ones enjoying the daily buffet. Notably, the Evening Grosbeaks, usually gone by now, are still here, with about a dozen stopping in regularly.

My wife and I have been fortunate on recent birding outings, spotting an abundance of ducks. On one occasion, we counted over a hundred Buffleheads, one of her favorites.

While traveling near Arcadia, we visited the Arcadia Marsh Nature Preserve. It’s a wonderful place, rich with birds and wildlife. The elevated wooden walkway offers scenic views and plenty of spots to sit and rest. The weather wasn’t ideal during our visit, so we’re planning a return trip to take in more of what the preserve offers. Even so, we enjoyed watching a variety of ducks and shorebirds.

It looks like a promising year for mushrooms. I’m especially looking forward to fresh morels, though I’ll gladly take any foraged variety. The garden is also coming along nicely. We’ll be planting soon, and the garlic we put in last fall is already thriving. Fresh garlic scapes paired with asparagus are hard to beat.

A quick reminder: turtles are on the move this time of year, often crossing roads. Please keep an eye out. I recently saw one that didn’t make it along I-75 near West Branch.

Turkey season has brought success to some friends. Congratulations to Bobbi Lively on a nice tom, and to Bryan Ellis’s young family members who also had successful hunts. Well done to all.

If you’re heading into the woods, remember turkey season runs through the end of May. Stay safe and respectful of others enjoying the outdoors.

Lastly, legislation introduced in March, Senate Bill 821 and House Bill 5687, would grant Michigan’s disabled veterans lifetime hunting and fishing licenses, with tiered costs based on disability ratings starting at 30%. I support this effort, even with some limitations on certain licenses like elk or bear.

That’s all for now, my friends. I hope to see you out there. Please help keep our woods and waters clean.

The post Birds and blooms appeared first on Up North Voice.

A fresh exterior paint job can instantly boost your home’s curb appeal, whether you’re settling in for the long haul or preparing to sell. Hiring the right painter makes all the difference. Here’s how to choose wisely:

• Start by meeting with at least three professional painters. Be present during each visit and pay attention to how thoroughly they inspect your home. A careful evaluation usually leads to a more accurate estimate, quick walk-arounds can miss important prep work.
• Always request detailed written estimates. These should break down labor and material costs, specify the number of coats, list paint brands, and outline the prep work involved. Clear details now help avoid surprises later.
• Take time to check references and past projects. Speak with previous clients and, if possible, look at recent work to judge the quality and consistency of the crew.
• Credentials matter, too. While memberships in trade groups aren’t guaranteed, they can signal professionalism. You can also check with organizations like the Better Business Bureau or your state’s licensing board to see if there are any complaints on record.
• Before work begins, make sure you have a complete contract. It should include contact information, licensing details, and everything outlined in the estimate, plus a clear explanation of what is and isn’t included.
• Don’t forget to ask for proof of insurance, including liability and workers’ compensation coverage. This protects you if anything goes wrong on the job.
• A reputable painter should also offer a workmanship guarantee, covering issues like peeling, blistering, or fading for at least a couple of years. Keep in mind: paint warranties often cover materials only, not labor.
• Finally, be cautious with payments. A 10–15% deposit is typical but avoid large upfront costs. Do a final walk-through before paying the balance and only sign off when you’re fully satisfied with the results.

Choosing carefully upfront can save you time, money, and headaches—and leave your home looking its best for years to come.

Credit: Consumerreports.org/homeimprovements

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By Donnie Boursaw

In observance of our country’s birthday, Congress established the United States Semiquincentennial Commission to encourage Americans to “remember our past, mark our present, and build towards a promising future.”

Michigan’s committee has relaunched www.America250MI.org

 as the official community hub for the state. The updated site is designed to help Michiganders connect, find local participation opportunities, and access tools for planning meaningful commemorations.

So many things are changing in our world. Although technology has provided more information, options, and connections, making life better for many, it also seems to encourage instability, narcissism, and isolation. This birthday celebration offers an opportunity to unite under the stars and stripes as individuals, families, and communities, and to honor what we share as Americans. This is more than just an anniversary; it is a chance to reflect on the past and recognize the innovations and contributions of those who built this country.

As a genealogist, I object to the hyphenation of identity that has become common in recent years. Those who came before us did not describe themselves that way. I am an American with Scottish ancestry, just as my husband is an American of French Canadian ancestry. This country remains one of the most diverse, tolerant, and inclusive nations in the world, where people from many backgrounds are united under the shared identity of “American.”

Have your own celebration. Join a local commemorative event. Visit the RCGS research center to learn about your family’s place in American history. Join an archaeological dig, explore a museum, or start a book club focused on historical events. The possibilities are endless.

As we celebrate our communal birthday, let us reflect on our blessings and the privileges of living in this country. How will you celebrate 250 years since our founding? How much of your history do you remember? How are you connected to 1776? Why did your ancestors come to these shores, and what were they seeking?

Instead of thinking about all we don’t have and what must be changed, how about for the year 2026 we concentrate on what we do have and how we can make things better not only for ourselves but others. A change of attitude can sometimes solve a lot of problems.  Contact me at rootsandremnants@gmail.com and let me hear your story.

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In Michigan, we experience a lot of pretextual stops from law enforcement on the highways. I have been stopped for everything from driving 4 mph over to having a four-prong pigtail on my trailer hitch. I don’t know what motivates these frivolous traffic stops. Perhaps it’s the increase in drug use for small towns and rural areas, stronger enforcement of drunk driving laws, local officials being ‘tough on crime,’ or boredom and quotas among police officers. Regardless, it’s dubious that these stops solve any of these problems.

The reason these pretextual stops are worth it to police is their ability to ask us questions on the roadside. When police officers ask us questions, they are building a case against us, often fishing for any case they can make up. But we have the constitutional right to remain silent and not answer these questions beyond providing license, registration, and insurance. Interestingly, some law enforcement will cajole drivers into answering questions and ticket them for trivial offenses if they don’t. Yet it’s doubtful that a serious criminal is going to fall for these tactics and a drunk driver is best identified by dangerous driving not by his refusal to answer questions about a cracked taillight. Instead, law abiding citizens suffer the consequences for asserting their basic rights.

Technically, pretextual stops have been ruled constitutional, assuming the supposed infraction actually occurred. But elected representatives are still accountable to the people. Instead of fluffing off intrusions on our privacy, we can complain to elected officials and vote accordingly. We deserve to leave our homes without being harassed with pretextual stops and for trivial offenses. If nothing else, we have a constitutional right to remain silent when subject to these activities.

Dan Shaffer

Oscoda County

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By Slim Randles

June just might be the first month of summer … to most of us. But for some of this planet’s people, it’s the dead of winter. That would be those wonderful folks who live south of the equator, of course. While we are busy cremating some cow or pig on the backyard barbecue, they are still holed up and wondering if they can make it to penguin season without starving.

And I’m just kidding of course because 1. I’m fairly certain no nation has a penguin season, and 2. penguins don’t need any

more problems. Hey, they already live where it’s too cold and they walk funny.

I thought I knew all kinds of things about sleds and dogs. Hadn’t I already won a 100-mile race? Hadn’t I darn near won a 300-mile race? Didn’t I live 12 miles from my car and have to use the team to get to town and to file my columns. Heck yes! Well, in those days I was married to Pam, who ran race headquarters for the Iditarod Race. That was a long, cold 1100-mile camping trip from Anchorage to Nome.

This finds us in race headquarters in Anchorage, which looked an awful lot like a borrowed room in the Roosevelt Hotel. Just before the second race, which was in

March of 1974, we were sitting in the room and in walks a very finely dressed gentleman with a Boston accent., and introduced himself as Norman Vaughan.

He sat down and asked some race questions, and I’m afraid I answered them all. Never did learn to stop talking about dogs. A couple of hours later, Norman left and we both remarked how polite and kind he was. Well, about an hour after that, we were listening to the radio and the announcer said, “Our special guest speaker for the mushers’ banquet tonight will be Colonel Norman Vaughan, who drove a dog team to the South Pole in 1929 as a safety back-up for pilot Richard Byrd.”

I wasn’t able to speak at all after the biggest embarrassment of my life. But Pam made up for it by laughing her head off.

Finally, I had to laugh, too, after my coaching talk to an old guy from Boston. I said to Pam, “Well, at least he now knows the right way to do it.”

Norman and I were close friends for the rest of his life. But there really should be a lever or something that you could pull and have the floor open up and swallow noisy dog mushers, newspaper columnists, and other blights on humanity.

x-x-x

Brought to you by “Dogsled, A True Tale of the North” which I wrote because someone had to. It’s online.

The post Home Country: It’s Summer here, but Winter somewhere appeared first on Up North Voice.

Home Country by Slim Randles

    Ran into Doc down at The Mule Barn the other day, so naturally we had to rid the world of about a gallon of coffee and solve the world’s problems for an hour. It is the duty of all true Americans of our age, you know.

  Doc said he’d been aching a little bit lately. Joints or something. He’d been out fixing the pasture fence where the mare had been pushing on it. The next morning it made him walk funny.

  “I remember when my dad was my age,” he said. “I asked him how it felt to be this old. Well, he looked at me as though I were committing a crime by having brown hair, you know? And then he said, “To be this old? Well, I guess it beats the alternative.”

  The truth is, the morning coffee drinkers of our area aren’t really old, not inside. We hurt a bit more the next day when we do things, that’s all. And having to walk funny for an hour or so is a small price to pay for our experience.

  Being experienced sounds better.

  “The other day,” Doc said, “I was down to the feed store, and the kid there took one look at me and carried those heavy sacks out to the truck for me. It was embarrassing, and she shouldn’t have done it.”   

Brought to you by Sun Dog Days, my novel about our wild horse catching days.

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By Joel Vernier

I was napping in my “Comfy Chair” when I drifted back to my freshman year of high school, remembering the time a friend and I each bought a pile of Bazooka Bubble Gum and, on a dare, chewed it all in a single day. I remember our mouths and tongues were pink, and our stomachs were on sugar overload.

High school was full of silly bets—like seeing how many kids we could cram into my big Plymouth Belvedere with the fins on the back. We managed to squeeze in 22, though we could only actually drive with 20. From toddler to teen to adulthood, I’ve always had a fondness for chewing gum.

People have been chewing gum for thousands of years. The oldest evidence is a 9,000-year-old piece of birch bark tar found in Scandinavia, bearing human tooth marks. Native Americans chewed spruce resin.

The modern version we know today was invented in the 1860’s by Thomas Adams, who began selling it commercially after experimenting with chicle. Bazooka tubs were a 19th-century American invention. Chiclets anyone? Coated with a hard sugar shell, it became very popular.

Today, we have up to 50 brands available on store shelves. Brands like Extra, Orbit, Trident & Five Gum are the breakaway leaders. The average amount of gum per American in one year? About 3 hundred pieces weighing 1.8 pounds.

Not everyone chews gum, so for those who do, it would raise the amounts. For those with a lot of discretionary spending, the most expensive gum is MASTIKA GUM Gold Edition! Real 22-carat edible gold flakes, sold in a luxury set of 96 pieces, cost around $280. I wonder what they taste like. I’m sure that they are delicious, but I think I will stick with the Gold Mine gum sold in the bag!

Chewing gum does have some risks, mostly to your teeth. Sugar feeds oral bacteria, promotes plaque buildup, and may affect blood sugar levels. Sugar-free gum is better for your teeth, digestion, and blood sugar levels. If sweetened with Xylitol, keep away from dogs; it is dangerous for them.

In my working career, chewing gum was helpful after lunch when brushing my teeth was not convenient. Today, I chew gum for the same reason, just before a meeting or to tide me over until I can brush my teeth. I do this on average 6 times a day.

Do you choose one stick at a time, or more than one? The average is one piece per chewing session. I admit if it’s stick gum, that’s about right, but if it’s gum pieces, I will take 2 pieces, please. In my case, chewing gum is great before napping! When you wake up, no morning breath!

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Home Country by Slim Randles

  “Well,” said Steve, the tall cowboy, “at least it’s Friday and we all have the weekend to look forward to.”

  Doc glanced up from his paper at the philosophy counter of the Mule Barn truck stop and world dilemma think tank.

  “Fastest Friday you’ll ever experience, Steve,” said Doc.

  “That’s about right,” said Dud.

  Steve got that confounded look on his face. “What do you mean by that?”

  “Today is Saturday.”

  “Well,” Steve said, shaking his head, “that flat wrecks this day all to pieces.”

  “Hey,” said Dud, “it’s a pretty day. You have all day long to enjoy it.”

  “But don’t you see?” Steve said, in real pain. “I was planning to spend all day Friday getting ready for Saturday and now I can’t.”

  “Now that sounds kinda dumb,” Dud said, “and I realize that, but Steve does have a point. I mean, we think in terms of time …”

  Doc groaned.

  “ … yea, verily … time and space and the continuum thereof, henceforth and forevermore. That’s why, when our friend Steve here thought about Saturday, it was

as though Saturday lay in the future, where things are to happen that we, as mere mortals, are loath to know…”

  “Dud,” said Steve, “you been watching Nova again?”

  Dud blushed. “It was a good show. It concerned the string theory and fusion and the way all these marvelous things come together to make up our lives

and Einstein and the total something-or-other. I forget all the little stuff, but it was pretty good. Had to do with the Big Bang and all that junk. Do you realize that when you look at a star at night, it might not be there? That star might have blown up and

died a million years ago.”

  “So how can you tell if it’s still there?” Steve asked.

  “Have no idea,” Dud said.

  Steve grinned and tossed off the last of his coffee. 

“Well, I’d better be getting along. I’m running late as it is.”

  “So what you up to today, Steve?” said Doc.

  “Getting ready for Sunday.”

Brought to you by The Long Dark, first novel ever published in Alaska.

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