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By Joel Vernier
I woke up from my nap in my “Comfy Chair” because my throw blanket was too hot! Yesterday it was 32 degrees in the morning, but today it hit 70 by mid-afternoon, and I was sweating. Just one of life’s little frustrations!
At the grocery store, I find the produce I want, then battle those thin plastic bags. Half the time I tear the bag trying to pull it off the roll, and the other half I spend forever trying to open it. I try every trick: pinching it, licking my fingers, peeling it apart with both hands, even throwing it down in frustration while looking around for the hidden camera recording me for the employees’ lunch-break entertainment. Sometimes a kind shopper opens one instantly and hands it to me. Embarrassed, I still thank them.
I also dislike filling up my car. I’ve stepped into spilled gasoline that soaked my shoes, stood in freezing winds, pumped gas during thunderstorms, and even watched people smoke while fueling up. I would love one of those electric cars powered by thorium that supposedly lasts 100 years!
I use a CPAP machine, and when the power goes out at 2 a.m., I wake up gasping for air. Then I have two choices: wrestle the portable generator out of the garage, which seems heavier every year, especially in deep snow. Or sit upright and try to sleep.
And then there are endless little frustrations: burning microwave popcorn, burning toast, or burning anything I cook. Waking up instantly when one of my dogs gets sick on the carpet. Running out of toilet paper or toothpaste at the worst possible moment. Sleeping poorly when I can sleep in but wanting to sleep forever when the alarm goes off. Wearing one brown shoe and one black shoe to work. Stepping on the doctor’s scale. Dog hair in my food. Dirty glasses every 15 minutes. Wondering if I already took my medication. Appliances breaking one week after the warranty expires. Political ads, pharmaceutical ads with side effects read at auctioneer speed, and checking the mailbox five times before realizing it’s a holiday.
After writing this column, which may sound negative, (though it was very cathartic) I think I’ll have to write one about the things I love. Thankfully, there are many more of those!
