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HomeColumns, Opinions & Misc.I'm so down with snow!

I’m so down with snow!

I finished a light breakfast of organic blueberries and heart-healthy nuts. I swallow my load of vitamins and supplements. I snuggled into my “Comfy Chair” wrapped in an appropriate winter décor throw blanket. Time for a power nap, so I’m rested and ready to go out and get the mail when it arrives.

As I progressed down my relaxation levels heading toward nap time, I felt a tugging on my left shoulder. “Joel, it snowed last night; you need to go out and shovel the snow before the mail arrives in case a package won’t fit into the mailbox.” “I’m on it!” I groggily replied.

As I began to shake off the urge to sleep, I rubbed my eyes to get rid of the silica left by the “Sandman” I thought to myself, “I am so done with winter!” I love the winter season, and the glorious holidays are essential to our lives. I’m good with snow from Thanksgiving thru Christmas and would love it to stop on New Year’s Day! So much for the Quantum theory that human thought generates the universe. I’ve been thinking that way for years, but the snow & ice continues to roll on! January, February, March, and April can bring winter precipitation.

As the months go by, I wish the snow and ice would go bye-bye!

My snowblower is worn out, making clickily clackity noises that it didn’t make when winter started! My snow shovel is all bent up and cracked due to the ice I tried to remove from my driveway.

I like to clear my driveway before I drive on it, but I only get it done when I leave early, before sunrise. I just don’t want to blow snow by flashlight! My heavy winter gloves are worn out with a couple of holes in them, my winter hat is falling apart at the seams, and I’m almost out of “Chapstick.” My sinuses well up and fill up with some disgusting fluid that takes all day to drip out of my nose. I wonder if I add up all the cost of replacing my winter gear, Kleenex, nose spray, and new lenses because they get scratched when I’m blowing all the ice and snow; I wonder if it would save me money to pay someone to do it for me. The colossal plume flies up in the air, and then the howling arctic wind blows it back in my face covering me with an inch or more of a cold, wet coating, and of course, my glasses get all scratched up.

I reward myself with a hot chocolate or a cup of coffee, chicken soup, or anything to warm me up! A power nap feels wonderful after working hard and cleaning the drive and walkways. I also do my deck, so I can get to the BBQ grill for a taste of summer, no matter what the winter weather brings. The reality is that winter will be here until it’s not here. As I look outside, it is snowing again. It’s pretty to look at, just not to shovel!

“Remember, every day is a gift! Some are just a little more fun to open than others. – © Joel M. Vernier 03/12/2023 Author of: “The Guinea Pig In The Freezer.” joelmvernier@aol.com

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