Dog-tired

Joel Vernier

I find myself on occasion after a busy morning, only one nap, that around 2 p.m., I am in desperate need of my afternoon nap. I determine it to be a desperate need when my head feels groggy, my body is a little achy, warm and I feel plain dog-tired.

The term “dog-tired” must come from the way dogs are always sleeping unless of course you’re eating something, the doorbell rings or they have to go outside. It actually originated as an old English idiom from a story about Alfred ‘The Great’ King of Wessex and his hunting dogs! My dogs are always ready to eat, walk, nap or be petted.

I meandered into my “Comfy Chair,” put the widescreen on low volume and drifted off to sleepdom. I love it when you fall asleep so fast that you don’t feel seep coming on. I usually dream when that happens. And so it was!

I found myself steeped in history it means only one thing “Time Travel!” in my “Comfy Chair.” I was surrounded with tapestry, tents, men wearing armor, horses, wenches, dogs and smoked turkey legs! No wait, that’s the “Renaissance Festival.”

Then I noticed what looked like a military unit returning, they looked tired, but pleased with themselves. (I felt very happy that when I time travel I remain invisible except to cats!) It was King Alfred the Great returning from a battle with the Vikings. The Vikings were vanquished but will return to battle again. King Alfred’s dogs curled up around the fire and fell asleep. Knowing his men needed to be fed, the King asked his son to go out and to hunt with the dogs to bring back some meat. Off they went and in a little while returned with several birds and venison. In a flash the birds were being cooked on spears and the deer was being turned on a spit. A big black pot of water, potatoes, carrots and beets were boiling. The aromas of the food were awesome, the soldiers not so much. I noticed King Alfred’s dogs headed over to the fire; they walked a little unsteady on their paws and were once again curled up around the fire sleeping. They were dog-tired!

The minstrels were playing, the madrigals were singing. The dogs woke up when the food was being eaten, and garnered their share of the meat with intense and efficient begging, just like at home! The wine was flowing served in wooden chalices, the wenches were serving, everyone was happy! This gave King Alfred the Great an idea!

The next day he sent an emissary to the Viking encampment and invited them to come over the next night for a festival. They accepted. The next night the sure enough the Vikings showed up. At first they were not sure if it was a trap or not, but as the wine flowed, the food was consumed and the wenches danced (What are wenches anyway, a politically incorrect term I’m thinking.) Everyone was happy and they made a pact to rotate feasting instead of fighting!

All of a sudden my “Comfy Chair” began to shake and shimmy, must be re-entry into my own time period. As I began waking from my time travel nap I began to wonder if Kim Jong-un leader of North Korea would like to come over and participate in a festival, instead of celebrating his birthday every day by shooting off rockets? I’d love to see him dance to “Gangnam Style”!

After all it worked for King Alfred the Great. Does Trump have any hunting dogs? Great Danes I’m thinking!

“Remember, every day is a gift! Some are just a little more fun to open than others. – Joel

Author of: “The Guinea Pig In The Freezer”. joelmvernier@aol.com

© Joel M. Vernier November 1, 2017

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