View From The Comfy Chair: An Alarming Life!

Joel Vernier

I was enjoying a well-deserved good nights sleep when the alarm clock went off! I heard a slow beeping that gradually became louder. It was considerate I guess.

To me, there is nothing about an alarm clock that is truly considerate. Just the name “Alarm Clock” is alarming! Think of it: Fire Alarms, Smoke Alarms, CO2 Alarms and Security Alarms! All of them are designed to jolt us out of what ever we are doing and initiate a change in our behavior instantly.

Alarms are meant to trigger the autonomic nervous system and to start the flow of adrenaline. Who can truly relax after hearing the Tornado Siren going off and screaming its message? Or after the Hawaii false alarm about an incoming missile. I jump up every time they do a monthly Civil Defense test. It’s probably just me, but it seems like they have been testing more than once a month. Who does not run up to the television or radio after hearing the shrill “Civil Defense Alert Tone? I hold my breath until they hear the words “This is a test!” Images of a nuclear doomsday a Biological or Chemical weapons event or floods fills my mind.

After learning that it’s only a test, I sometimes go to the kitchen and grab a piece of pie or a dish of ice cream just to celebrate that it was only a test!

Modern life overdoes the whole alarm, alert or testing thing. The microwave beeps at you when your food is done, is that so you won’t forget to eat it? I mean if your hungry are you going to forget you just warmed up food to eat?

My cable box alerts me that it has been too long without activity and that it’s going to turn itself off unless I do something. I’m just trying to relax! My cable box should know that I turn it on and sit in front of it precisely to have no activity!

My clothes washer jingles at me to put the clothes in the dryer, my dryer jingles at me to get my clothes out of the dryer. My car beeps at me to put my seatbelt on, to close a door or to remember to take out my keys, even to tell me that my lights are on. I mean if its dark out and my lights are on surly I will notice the light when I turn off my car.

My car alerts me when I’m about to run out of gas, this has stopped teenagers all over the country from having a reason for being late on a date. When I fill up with gas, my gas pump yells at me to buy candy bars that I don’t need or to use its branded pass card to get free stuff and then it yells at me to go and get my free stuff! When I walk through the grocery store, lights flash at me to get my attention to buy stuff I don’t need. Its beginning to feel like my whole life is just one big commercial! It reminded me of Sylvester Stallone’s movie “The Demolition Man” every time he cusses a ticket prints out and he has to pay a fine. Hmmm, I like that one!

I prefer the old fashion way of waking up! The sunlight comes through the window, gradually lights up my face and I either wake up or pull the covers over my face for an extra snooze!

Alarms do serve a very critical service for all of us please remember to replace all of your batteries in your smoke alarms, and carbon monoxide alarms, and if you don’t have them or need more alarms, please go to your local fire department or hardware store and get them and place them on your ceiling! Better to be safe than sorry! My internal alarm is going off; time for a nap.

“Remember, every day is a gift! Some are just a little more fun to open than others. – Joel

Contact me at: joelmvernier@aol.com

© Joel M. Vernier February 13, 18

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