It might have been the winter doldrums that did it. You can never be sure of these things. It’s just that … well, Doc is one of those guys who can’t stand to see anyone bored. He claims it’s bad for their inner chemistry, and since he has more initials after his name than anyone else in town, we tend to listen to him.
When it happened, we in the inner circle of the World Dilemma Think Tank down at the Mule Barn truck stop thought back on what Doc had said a year ago when the temperature dropped, along with everyone’s spirits.
“In weather like this,” Doc pronounced, stirring sugar into his cup, “a real American would come up with a great hoax.”
Those of us sitting at the philosophy counter that morning just nodded, even though we didn’t have a clue. No one wanted to admit it, you see.
When the Valley Weekly Miracle hit the street yesterday, we bought one to see how much the editor dared to print, as always, but there in the classifieds was this:
“LOST – One gray squirrel, fluffy tail, two years old. Answers to “Chipper.” $5.25 reward. Call Doc.”
The paper was passed down the counter and we all looked at Doc after we read it. He was smirking as only Doc can smirk.
“Doc,” Steve said, tentatively, “would this be the same imaginary squirrel that was kidnapped and held for ransom last year?”
“The very same,” Doc said. “I named him Chipper.”
“But he’s imaginary, right?”
“The very best kind.”
“Imaginary squirrels don’t bite, don’t have to be fed, and you never have to clean up after them,” he said. “And a real squirrel will eat the leg off a coffee table.”
He grinned. “Besides, I’ve always wanted an imaginary squirrel.”
After we laughed, Dud said, “And what if someone finds a squirrel and brings him to you?”
“Dudley,” he said, “I figure it’s worth $5.25 to get a squirrel, which would be hibernating this time of year, of course, and then to turn it loose. Besides, I’ll make more money than that just stitching up the squirrel catcher’s hand.”
Brought to you by the weekend radio show Home Country with Slim Randles. Drop by and listen and we’ll have some fun. www.homecountrydemo.com.
Au Sable Media Group, LLC, is a veteran-owned company that owns and operates the Roscommon County Voice, Crawford County Voice, Michigan Boomers and Voice of the Au Sable.
Our focus is on the positive people and events that make Northern Michigan a great place to live, vacation, work and play.
We have been commercial printers and publishers since 2010, specializing in brochures, rack cards, magazines and other newspapers and publications. A new addition to our stable of marketing products are various promotional items such as shirts, hats, mugs, water bottles and much more.
Through our publications and website at UpNorthVoice.com, we cover the following communities: Roscommon, Houghton Lake, St. Helen, Higgins Lake, Grayling, Frederic, Gaylord, Lewiston, Johannesburg, Atlanta, Hillman, Fairview, Comins, McKinley, Mio, Rose City, West Branch, Hale, Glennie, Sand Lake, Harrisville, Tawas City, East Tawas, Oscoda, Au Sable AuGres, Standish, Omer, Sterling, Gladwin, Beaverton, Kalkaska, South Boardman, Fife Lake, Mancelona, Alden, Traverse City, and Waters.
Our staff regularly covers the following school districts: Roscommon, Houghton Lake, St. Helen, Grayling, Mio and Fairview.
We can also be found on Facebook at Roscommon County Voice, Voice of the Au Sable, Michigan Boomers and Crawford County Voice.
For information on promoting your business in any of our products please contact Tracy Constance at 989-275-1170 (email@example.com) or Walt Smith at 989-390-5359 (firstname.lastname@example.org).
If you have information you would like to see published, email Theresa Ekdom at email@example.com. You can also enter calendar items at your convenience at ww.UpNorthVoice.com.
Au Sable Media Group is an equal opportunity employer and follows all applicable state and federal laws.